“I Don’t Care”
“I Don’t Care!” My husband couldn’t understand at first how as a wife and as a mother I could ever let those words escape my lips. Honestly, when I originally thought about that phrase I felt my body cringe, inundated with guilt. How could I “not care”? How could I have allowed myself to formulate such a thought?
The Holy Spirit revealed to me that “not caring” isn’t equated to losing my love, becoming distant, sharing less compassion or discarding my feelings – walking around numb to the world. Not caring sometimes is self preserving. I had gotten to a place where it felt like I was losing my mind. I was definitely losing myself. I ran from here to there doing this and that. I stayed up late many nights with concerns about our children. I also had to make sure that I was attending to my husband, nurturing our marriage. I couldn’t rest well until our son came home close to midnight from his classes in New York. My mind was swarmed with things that I needed to do for myself but was too exhausted to do them after attending to everyone else. Do this, be that, don’t forget that, gotta go there, gotta fix that, time is going, they need that, no time for that…. I cared so much that not caring became exactly what I needed.
When I explained to my husband what the Spirit shared with me he totally began to understand my statement. I had to learn to empty myself of care – to have No Care. For in I Peter 5:7, I am encouraged to cast all my cares upon the Lord, because He cares for me. So when I cast my cares on the One who can handle it, I would be left with No Care. At the beginning of the year I told the Lord that I wanted to unburden myself. I wanted to live lighter, freeing myself of the weights of life. I didn’t want to get caught up in silly arguments with my husband. I didn’t want to experience things that wasted time. I wanted our children to do more and grow through their own experiences. I wanted to be relieved of sleepless hours, tossing and turning. I no longer wanted to frustrate myself with guilt and fears. Throughout this year the Lord, my Father, has been answering my every request, giving me remedies on how to unburden my disquieted soul.
In Psalm 127:2, it says, “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep (or rest).” In other words, “Karen it’s ridiculous for you to carry all of this and just exhaust your body, mind and spirit. You are His beloved. Take the rest He offers.” So I did and I have been making steady progress to continue to do so.
I emptied my cares into the arms of a loving and caring Father. So when I say “I Don’t Care” it is because I have been relieved of my cares. And as cares may come, because life will surely bring them, I will give more away. I am lighter and my family is lighter and healthier because of that principle. I care enough to not care.
I encourage you, unburden yourself TODAY. You have a loving Father who is ready to take whatever care you may have. Live Lighter. Breathe Lighter.
Dear Lord, I know you love me. I love and trust you.
I choose TODAY to cast all my cares upon you because I know you care for me.
I denounce fear, guilt, tiresome thoughts and wasteful times.
I choose to live lighter in the freedom of your capable arms.
I know I am Your beloved and I accept Your rest. In Christ name, Amen.
